This is a weird conversation to have but one I think is important. I believe there are women out there who dislike other women purely because of how desirable they seem. Yea that’s a fucked up thing to say but hear me out.
My aim with this blog post is to get this conversation out of my head where it has been dancing for years and into somebodies else’s head. That’s it I have no other reason but to torture whoever is reading this with my mental musings. I once went to dinner with some friends and you know me I’m always taking pictures and recording, so that night was no different. So I was showing another friend of mine said pictures and videos from the evening and the first thing she said was “eww what did she do to her face. She would have looked a lot better if she didn’t touch her face”
The comment through me off for a bit, mainly because it was unnecessary and my friend in the picture was beautiful. One of my favorite sayings is one from the Bible – “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” ( Matthew 22:21). We will leave the God part out for now. I love it because it has more than just one meaning but my favorite way to use it is – give people what they are due with no questions. If a woman is beautiful who cares if she’s had work done. This obsession we have with dissecting women’s beauty is getting boring.
It happened again not too long ago I was reading a book by this reality star and fell in love with her all because of her book. I love a woman who revels in her femininity and uses it to bring men to their knees, meanwhile building an empire. Anyways a friend of mine was listening to the audio book and it was on the chapter where the author was speaking about loving yourself no matter what size or shape you are. I was grinning like a proud parent but my friend had some discrepancies with the authors claims. My friend heard this and thought well can she even give that advice when she has had so much work done?
Me a woman who has had work done found this statement quite humorous. Just because someone gets work done doesn’t mean they are telling the world to get work done. When the author said love yourself no matter what, she in no way meant you had to love yourself in your natural God given form (if you believe in God). Whatever decision you decide on with your body and your image, own it, no regrets!
I asked my friend why she couldn’t give the woman grace as another woman? My friend considers herself a feminist and a proud representitive for the LGBTQI community. Playing devil’s advocate I asked her if should would tell a trans Man or Woman that she couldn’t take self love advice from them because they’ve had work done. She quickly responded by saying the two situations were different. “Why not?” I asked her “both parties didn’t feel comfortable in the body they were born in” give her as much grace as you would someone else. She explained to me that the author had done so much work that she was and I quote “unrecognizable and looked like a Barbie”.
There lied the problem, first of all she has no idea what the author looked like before lip fillers and boob implants. Comparing the author to a Barbie the international symbol of unrealistic female perfection and beauty, told me everything I needed to know. There are three types of women in the world, women who hate Barbie, women who idolized her and me, I could give a fuck. It wasn’t the author’s surgeries that was the problem, it was her “Pretty” privilege. Women like her seemed to get everything they wanted, and it they never have to work as hard as everyone else or so it seems.
My personal little thesis on why women sometimes hate pretty women isn’t complete and I have no real agenda with this blog to be honest. But I will add this, the same friend was raving to me about a new friend of hers that she thought was absolutely amazing, “you have to meet her” she told me “you’re going to love her, her energy is so amazing”.
I created an image in my head of what the woman looked like before I met her and when I actually met her she did not disappoint. She’s a sweet girl I’m sure but I would pass her on the street even if she bumped into me and I fell backward. This new friend had no energy at all. She was actually quite awkward and forgettable, I can’t remember her voice or her name. Which doesn’t say anything about her, it says a lot about me, I’m a piece of shit.
I had to come to the realization that my friend hated pretty women and did not see them as sisters but as a problem. She would get on me because I didn’t want the title of independent woman, and I refused to put together my own furniture. I am not against women doing it all, but I don’t want to and I won’t.
If feminist consider me a sell out well, I have to live for me honey not someone else’s agenda. I totally understand if this blog post made no sense to you and you now hate me for killing your brain cells. This is a personal blog after all.
xoxo Lauren
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