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But I Never Once Said I Was Pro- Black | Girl Talk Sundays

February 4, 2018

Alright guys get cozy.  Once again a fake account has left an illiterate comment on my Instagram, attacking my life choices and who I choose to associate myself with.  Many people will say Lauren just ignore it but I think I can use this opportunity to teach.  We are going to start with two conversations.

Conversation Number One – “You’re White”

Someone on my instagram said How can I be pro-black and hate white people when I have so many white friends and my husband is white?   First of all I don’t hate white people and I have never ever said that.  If you have known me for years you would know that’s NOT something I would say.  Also I never told anyone I was Pro-Black but I’ll get into that in a minute.  I was telling one of my friends who have been featured on my socials about the incident.  “People are upset because they see me hanging with you and you’re white” I told her. “Im not white though” she argued and that’s when I said yeah I know that but if you went to Jamaica where I’m from or any black community you could tell them you’re white and they wouldn’t question it.  That’s when she said this to me – “That’s so weird because no white person has ever thought I was white.”  That’s when it hit me, I had to write this blog.  She said a white person would never mistake her for white, yet I was being accused of having only white friends. I don’t know if people realized that I married into a white family and also lived in a 90% white state for the past four years but like I said that’s not the point.

Conversation Number Two – “The Security wouldn’t let me in”

I was staying at a popular Jamaican resort with my sister and we went into the town to look around and act like tourists and when we came back to our hotel the security would not let us in.  She asked us if we were guests there I explained to her we were.  She refused to let us in without calling front desk to make sure we weren’t lying.  You know because we’re black and so is she, she knows we can’t possibly be staying there, because she wouldn’t be.  Even though she was standing there when we left, and had just welcomed a group of white tourists before us, whom she did not ask for any verification.  I was fuming we gave her our room numbers and I gave her my name, when she confirmed I DEMANDED her name.  She did not give me her name and she didn’t wear a name badge.

I grew up in the black community, it was there I first learned from people who look like me that I should hate myself.  Unfortunately it didn’t work out and I grew up annoyingly loud and extremely over confident.  For someone to suggest that me being Pro-Black means I should separate myself from all other races, from where I stand it just doesn’t make any sense. I’m too well read to do something so stupid.  It isn’t that different than White people wanting to keep white neighborhoods white, or the president of the United States wanting to keep immigrants out. Think about it, it’s like telling a LGBT activist that he should only have friends who are in the LGBT community because having straight friends, well that doesn’t make you an activist enough!?   I never once in my whole life said I was Pro-Black, I am a BLACK WOMAN, I am PRO-MYSELF!!!!!!  My ancestral background is that of Africans who were enslaved, I am NOT going to audition to the black community or any community how Black I am.  I can’t be anything else, even when I’m doing activities that are deemed as WHITE, I AM AUTHENTICALLY BLACK by FUCKING DEFAULT!!!! It is impossible for me to be anything other than BLACK.  Going back to what my friend said ”  A White person would never think she is White” Do you see what I just did there? Read it again, keep reading it until you get it.

I went to private school and we traveled a lot, I remember my mom had me taking extra lessons at a Primary school near where she worked.  The kids laughed at me when I spoke and said I talked like a white girl or a little rich girl. I told my mom I did not want to go back there and bless her heart she did not send me back and that was the end of that.  In an interview I saw with Jay Z last month he said the same thing we need to stop associating certain things as being white, and certain things as being black.  We do it to ourselves and we really don’t need to. We really don’t need to be intimidated by each other.   If I was out here disassociating myself from black people the armies would attack me.  But  instead I’m here being comfortable in my skin, loving who I want to love because its 2018 and yet I find myself defending myself because my husband and I am a proud Black woman.

My husband has never had to defend his choice to marry me to anyone, no one has ever accosted him.  But for some strange reason black women are always having to defend themselves when they marry outside of their race.  Even when our own black men refuse to love us, they get bent out of shape when someone else does.  Why did that person with the fake account attack me for having “White Friends” and a White husband? You might think this person is pro-black and is all bout black rights. But because I’ve been exposed to people like that I know that’s not why. You see in the black community for too long having white friends or having a white spouse is still seen as a privilege.  Like you’ve been chosen by the “Whites.”  When other black people (not all of course this is just a generalization) see you with supposedly white friends they think that you now have elevated over them and you socializing with people outside your race is you acting like you’re better than them.  The truth is THEY feel like you’re better than them and this upsets them. They try to impose what they feel unto you. The mirror effect. Do some black people still feel like white people are better than them? I haven’t met one person regardless of race who is better than me so I can’t relate.

I am a Proud Black woman who has never bleached her skin and never felt the need to identify as anything else. It does not matter who I’m married to or who my friends are I will always be black.  This part you want me to audition for, is a gimmick imposed on you by the very same people you are trying to “fight.”  They told you, you cannot be certain things and you should be certain things and you believed them.   They told you you don’t deserve to sit with them so you think you shouldn’t sit with them. But I’m going to sit with them and whomever I choose because everyone should be HONORED by my GREATNESS.  (LOL)

How will we get pass this? Are we supposed to?

xoxox Lauren.


Images found in this Blog Post are not mine and were taken from Tumblr.
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