Identifying them over time ………
Exhausting friendships/relationships can take years to pin point. Once you have pin pointed them the next step is inevitable. I want to dispel the myth right now that an exhausting relationship has to be bad, it can be amazing and you can share a million laughs. What makes it exhausting is who reaches out all the time. Who asks “Are you ok”? That’s your first clue, oh we’re having a good time alright but at whose expense.
The thing about a relationship when it gets exhausting is when you start feeling like a fan instead of actual friends or lovers depending on your situation. A really good friend of mine had a baby last year and I found out on Instagram. Needless to say I changed my number and they didn’t get it.
I did not grow up with a supportive family. When I graduated with my degree it was my husband and his family screaming and cheering when my name was called. Most of my life, though it seemed glamorous was spent alone. I did not have a terrible childhood or the worst, never the less things happened. My friends have always been the family I chose. Yes I have changed friends over the years, that’s life but there are some I’ve known since I was four and we still talk today like nothing has changed. No matter where in the world they are.
When it comes to having supportive friends, it was q question I kept asking myself. When did this friendship become so one sided and should I just ride this out? How long can I ride this shit without a helmet? So in 2019 I had to make a lot of cuts. Were people seeing me in the same light I was looking at them?
A brother, a sister but not the ones who judge you the cool ones who support you and lie to our parents to cover your tracks. I was on the sidelines being a cheerleader and literally getting treated like a groupie. If I don’t call, they don’t call. If I say I’m having a bad day, they don’t pick up the phone to ask what’s up. I understand life happens, but when Im consistently put last it makes me wonder. Am I even needed in your life??
You’re An Exhausting Friend because
I met in a car accident less than a month after getting my new car. The person I expected to call and ask me if I was ok, was too consumed with their own problems to even ask me what happened. I decided I was done continuously reaching out to people and quite frankly tired. Im returning energies this year and if you treat me like a non-factor that’s what you’re getting in return. The way I see it if I mattered and our friendship meant anything at all to you. YOU would have called and asked “What the fuck” is going on, but you didn’t. I wish you well and hope you really do what you set out to do but I have to say , GOOD BYE FELICIA.
Nana-sheika Pryce says
I love love this article lauren about exhausting friendships i too have this friend for over 13 years and over the years its like ive always been living in her shadow… like she has a great body yes great skin and good hair… always aiming for the rich guy an all and i love appreciate that thats who she is, but it has never been about me or she wanting or showing interests in nothing towards me😔 and my dreams and goals always her. She calls 7days a week 10 times per day even when i say am in class she still call an wanna talk and i cant get a word in. I dont think my friend really likes me as a friends she loney and miserable through it all an she know i will listen so she continues to hang around. I mean the conversation always starts and end with her talking until my battery dies an when she ask for advise an i gave it to her she doesnt listen at all … so i decided not to advise her anymore because she keeping saying she gonna listen to someone else 🤔actually telling her to do crap like chasing a 65 yr old man that actually told her he doesnt want her when i told her to disconnect from him because he should feel privileges to have her in his life. Sighs sorry for ranting but am just over this
My so call friend tho has her partner, actually another womans husband for over 9 -10 yrs now an he has been taking maximum care of her but she hates his guts while he treats her like a queen the most expensive gifts and even 3 engagement rings🤔while hes still married just to move his love. She went on having sex with other men alot of big shot men but none treated her well sadly she got pregnant for another man while with her boyfriend the married man who is a pilot🤨. Hid it when the belly big he found out an leff har. The actual baby daddy say to have an abortion and she did she carried the child who is 3 right now and the baby daddy say the child is not his. At one point she.was on the.street with her pregnancy cause family an close her saw how she treat the pilot nad an turn them back. I did was the one that stood by her an after she got back on her feet she diss me in the wickest way i block and deleted her. Years passed saw she had reached out so i did the same and now the pilot man look her back after she hurt an now shes going crazy over this old ass 65 yr old man that blantly told her he doesnt want her. From January til now shes been in depression over it and for that everything she asks for advise an i tell her to leave this man be an shes not listening. When i have my studies she calls an talks for hours about this dude every single day its exhausting. No matter what am going through she twists it an makes it all about her .
What should i dk about this friend that is taking up so much of my time daily just talking about her shits.