It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a blog post and I have been wanting to write this for weeks. I wanted to talk about something that has been bothering me more and more lately, Imposter Syndrome.
What is it? I had no idea that I was even experiencing it, but when I spoke to my friend about it he diagnosed me with Imposter Syndrome. According to Wikipedia Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
I’ve experienced Imposter Syndrome a lot in the past two years. I’ve equated it to me being used to bad people and bad situations for so long, that when I’m not in a bad situation I feel like a fraud. So much of a fraud that I look for the negative in my amazing situations. I get imposter syndrome so bad that even my own marriage sometimes makes me feel like a fraud. Who am I, this isn’t my husband, I have no right to this life. I lose my temper and go off on my husband for no reason at all, all the time. He tells himself I’m mad, ignores me and carries on with his day like normal.
When I did my Master Class with Love Not Likes in Jamaica, last month. Right before the class started, I started shaking uncontrollably right before it was supposed to start. I wasn’t just nervous, I felt like I had absolutely no right to tell anyone anything about personal branding or social media. Yet I spent ten years building my own brand, the brands of others and I work for a top social media company. My own thoughts were so poisonous and loud. If my friend Nicola didn’t arrive when she did and my husband didn’t convince me to calm down, I probably wold have snuck out the back and ran away.
Why does this happen though, why does a person who has all the qualifications for a job, possibly feel like they aren’t qualified at all? This is just something that has been bothering me a lot lately. I find myself not going after many opportunities and even selling myself short, because I feel like Im just not qualified enough. We all experience this, no matter how successful we get or who we are. We will always feel insecure every now and again.
Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?