If at the age of thirty you’re still impressed by boys buying you things that by now you should be able to afford yourself, you probably need to re-evaluate your life. Have you become the woman you always wanted to be? If you thought about being a certain kind of woman at all. I want to make sure that what I’m about to say isn’t taken out of context, so I’ll try to do my best.
A couple years ago I sat down and wrote down where I saw myself at 30, at the time I wasn’t married, I had no money and the thought of going back to school made me sick to my stomach. Everyone is pretty, when was the last time you saw an ugly girl? Everyone can get their body together and anyone can be a kept man or woman, that’s easy. But truly finding your unique place in this world, that’s hard. I knew where I wanted to be and I knew I wasn’t there yet. Marriage, not mindless dating, my degree, job stability and a change of scenery, I told myself I would have these by 30. I didn’t want to still be clubbing in Kingston and getting impressed by bags and purses anymore, and constantly rubbing shoulders with the exact same people who were at every event. I wanted to be impressed by new things, the things I could buy, the things I could afford out of my own pocket. Don’t get me wrong I’m still utterly excited when my husband shows up with expensive gifts, or just gifts for that matter, he just walked in as I’m writing this with a family size bag of almond M&M’s and I’m going to admit I’m excited and impressed. I did not know they make M&M’s in almond flavored as opposed to peanuts. It means a lot to be because that’s my husband and we’ve been through a lot together and he has proven to me not by the things he has bought me but in so many other ways that he cares for me. Anyone can be the flavor of the month, remember that and sometimes a month can drag on for two years.
It’s too easy for men to spend money on girls, fuck them and then do the same to another girl. I too used to be impressed by the money that was spent on me, but then I started making my own money. Then their money didn’t impress me at anymore, to be fair men stopped impressing me altogether with their belongings. I’m at a place where I see men and their accomplishments as my competition, I want to own things, I want to buy him out. The feeling I get walking into a luxury store and buying my own shit knowing I can truly afford this is a feeling I can’t explain. None of the things men have bought me has made me feel this way. Again age and growth has a lot to do with my new perspective, I never thought those things wouldn’t impress me again. I have so much respect for women building empires and becoming business women who are leveling the playing field with their male counterparts. I think after a certain age showing the bottom of your shoe on Instagram that some guy bought you, shouldn’t be things that impress you. To a man with money a purse is nothing, a shoe is nothing, money really means nothing. The things that carry the most weight men are more careful with that:
- Marrying you so you can get half of everything. – He’s careful
- Marrying you without a prenup – He might not do it.
- Put your name on the title to a house he just bought – He wouldn’t even consider it.
- Putting your name on the lease – nah you can live with me but when it’s time to go, Go.
- Getting you involved in his company showing you how it works (if he has a company or a position of power where he can influence others.)
Those are all things he will be careful with, so you should be careful with what impresses you. The things I point out are just some general things a wont just give to a woman that easily. Not saying men wont do it, men will do anything for the woman they love. A grown woman has no business being impressed by the same things that impressed her at 21. We put price tags on so many things, this blog is not about the price of things, this is about the value of things. What is the value he adds to your life and if he is removed from your life, what is the value that will remain.
I love you and appreciate your support, let’s become powerful women. Who are not afraid to put ourselves first, but most important powerful women who don’t impress easily. So many of us know what we want out of a partner and we don’t even know who want to be or what we really want to accomplish in this life.