San Jose, California

You Have to Also Take Responsibility for Allowing Yourself to Get Hurt

July 1, 2018

This is a more personal blog and something that I have noticed. I have a friend going through a break up. There is an old saying, a very very old saying that says

“Fool me once shame on you. but fool me twice and the shame is on me”

A man who cheated and left you has sent you a powerful message, if you take him back you have to be honest with yourself and know he might do it again.  With someone like this you can’t go all in because when it happens again and you play victim and try to paint him as the bad guy you’re only fooling yourself.  Im not one to tell any man or any woman to leave their partner because they were unfaithful for any reason.  But I listen to people and it’s easy to paint someone else as the bad guy instead of just being honest with yourself about the real issue.  If your car broke down on you once before and you were late and stranded for work, the next time you drive it you have to be prepared for something else if not something worst. If you don’t have roadside assistance get it, you can’t keep going back to this person and then want to paint them as the devils spawn.  They showed you who they were and you accepted them flaws and all.

The same goes for women who sit with men for years who promise them marriage. You want to get married and you love this man but he doesn’t want to and whenever you bring up the subject it causes a fight. So now you’re operating on his time and his convenience while you cry yourself to sleep at night. You don’t have to do that, you can leave him, because there is someone out there who wants to get married too and guess what you you’ll fall involve again.  Love is not something we experience once with just one person, who told you. that?  Through out our life we will love so many different people, by the end of our life we’ll wonder why we loved many of them in the first place.

We sit in unsavory situations because we are afraid, afraid of things not working with someone else. We tell ourselves this is our last chance and if I don’t make it with this person I will be alone and unhappy for he rest of my life. The first question I want to ask you is, what’s wrong with being alone? but more importantly you know that’s not true, why are you lying to yourself. Who exactly are you protecting, you’re barely protecting your own feelings.  I think everyone should take a time out especially in today’s constantly connected world. It’s vital to disconnect, leave the kids with your parents, send them to summer camp for two day, an aunt and just stay home and disconnect and get back to your train of thought.  Now more than ever we are always connected, the cell phone and the introduction of social media has taken something we didn’t know was vital to our health.  Our privacy and alone time, and though you might not even have social media, that doesn’t mean you aren’t affected by this new culture. The constant need to know where each of us are, what we are doing, the texting the mindless conversations about which kardashian is pregnant or having surgery, you don’t need social media to be affected.

In conclusion taking responsibility for ourselves and what happens to us is a serious thing, and we shouldn’t take it lightly.  If you’re allowing the same situation to continuously have power over you then it’s time you looked at what YOU were/are doing. Have an amazing Sunday everyone, and remember time alone is luxury and necessity we all need.

xoxo Lauren

 

(Images in this blog post do not belong to me, they were sourced on Tumblr by some pretty dope Tumblr accounts Here, Here and Here)

 

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