Migration & Making Friends – “Girl Talk” 💔

Every Sunday I want to try a do a girl talk blog post, where I get personal about real things that affect me and affect other women (& men) too.  I migrated to the US almost four years ago, at the time of our marriage my husband was still in active duty in the United States Military.   Alaska, South Carolina, Cincinnati and now we are in California, moving is exciting, and stressful at the same time.  When I left Jamaica I was excited, a brand new place full of new people I couldn’t wait.  The newness of the whole thing was refreshing to me, but I realize something a year ago and it’s still haunting me now that I have relocated again in a new state surrounded by new people (again).  On a random Friday night, or a unplanned Wednesday afternoon I have no one to call if I want to hang out and talk about how much I hate my new hair with (just an idea of the things I talk about with my friends).

I have friends scattered all over the world, it comes with being Caribbean we like to move around you see. Anyways what I hadn’t quite realized was I was leaving all my gal pals behind.  Women who I had a unique history with, the ones who get me, understand my sense of humor and have similar ambitions as I do.  I was going to have to start all over and even though I was ok with that I had no idea it was going to be this hard.  Studies have proven that friendships are needed for people in our everyday lives, they make living easier, reduces our stress and anxiety and is overall just amazing, especially as we get older.  I meet a lot of amazing people, especially since I was going back to school to get my degree. I met a lot of extremely young people, which isn’t necessarily the problem. I rarely if ever met women the same age as me or in my age group to hang out with. I meet a lot of 19, 20, 21 and 22 year olds, don’t get me wrong I get along with all age groups but culture played a big role here as well I think back to what I was doing at 22 and look at what the 22 years olds I meet are doing and well yeah.

As women age is a little different for us than it is for men, lets be honest we can act as young as we want, Mother Nature will send us a DM saying “Hey girly just wanted to remind you, you’re almost 30. You wanna have kids, get married and then bounce back from that baby weight or nah”?

Younger girls can be a bit more reckless, but what do you do when you’re not quite ready to be anyone’s parent because you honestly believe you aren’t done living yet.  Yet at the same time you don’t really wanna go out and get shit faced drunk and forget what happened, but you also want to drink an entire bottle of wine and feel light headed and laugh at botched plastic surgery jobs on Instagram?  I have been talking to a few of my friends who have relocated and they all have the same problems but none of us have solutions. Would I trade in the experiences I’ve had roaming the globe for a more rooted life and permanent girlfriends probably not, I’m still very close with all my friends even though we’re miles apart we talk often and sometimes for hours.

 

Even though I have my husband, I still crave girls night outs, spa dates, even the one off club night every now and again.  The question still plagues me though, did I sacrifice my gal pals for a brave new world? Will I one day once again have that Sex and the City type friendship I’m used to having?

Can anyone else relate, are you thinking about relocating? Comment below or tweet me @LaurenOLauren.

xoxo Lauren

4 responses to “Migration & Making Friends – “Girl Talk” 💔”

  1. Kadine Strachan says:

    Always in my own company 🤦🏾‍♀️
    ❤️❤️❤️

  2. Danielle says:

    I can relate to this all too well, this affects especially us introverts who were once extroverts. Being organic with relationships/friendships can be such a challenge when it doesn’t come so easily. I love the friends I have here in Canada but it is NOT the same. I don’t know how to create THAT world again. Women our age here are different than back home, they are married, divorced, have kids, or maybe travelling as well? I don’t know… but I’ve been here 3 yrs and have no girl time either. I think I’ll start a meet up for Caribbean Women seeking girlfriends lol. Straight to the point. But then that takes away from the organic nature of building relationships. I guess that’s why tinder is popping, mayb be onto something Lauren! But ya the cravings are real, it gets lonely and sad really. Imu girl!

    • laurenolauren says:

      Girl well explained YOU GETS IT!!!!!! This is exactly how I feel want it to be real but its like it takes years to build that bond.

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