Good Advice

Marriage is More Than Dinner & Flowers on Special Occasions 

August 28, 2017

Let’s talk about marriage for a while, marriage is a little different than regular relationships in the sense that people are no longer hoping that this person marries them or spends the rest of their life with them.  Marriage is the end of the movie where the credits start rolling, it’s the happy ending. However the thing is after the credits start rolling when the movie is over and when the actors go back to their regular lives, sometimes dealing with the fame that comes from the movie can have negative effects.  It could be from the embarrassment that comes from its failure, either way the movie is over and now it’s time for something else.

Barack and Michelle Obama on their wedding day. (1992)

Yet marriage is a lot like a regular relationship in the sense that it should not feel like work and it should flow.  I hate when people say marriage is hard, marriage is not hard people are fucking hard.  Marriage didn’t do anything but bring both of you together, why is it being attacked.   However Marriage can get repetitive, quick, very quick.  One day you’re basking in the light of being a brand new Mrs or the dude who married the hot girl from high school and the next thing you know you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day by having dinner again.  Ordering the same thing you always order, you dust off the gold vase you got from your first bouquet of flowers when you just met, you cut the roses put them on the kitchen table, and everyday for the next four days you watch them die.  It’s a reflection of your soul, you know slowly dying.  On the fifth day the flowers are finally dead and you’ll put the vase back in its spot until the next occasion that warrants more flowers.  The whole fucking thing is not only predictable but sad as fuck.  You don’t dress up for each other anymore because in the back or your minds you’ve dressed up before and you know what each other looks like dressed up so why not just wear sweatpants.

Your partner should be your built in best friend, and if you’re like me you and you’re best friend’s relationship is anything but predictable or monotonous.  Best friends make life exciting, you can talk on the phone for hours about the bartender from the club with the big ears who kept on giving you free drinks and laugh over and over again.  Marriage my love is more than the word “WIFE” in your Instagram bio, marriage my dear is more than the opportunity to say “My Husband” when you’re at the salon.  If I could compare marriage to anything it would be a beautiful plant, you need to keep it alive.

I’ve told my husband I’m not just going to be his biggest fan, I will be his biggest critic and every move he makes I will be there to dissect it and over analyze it. Because we’re in this together and I want as much for him as I want for myself. I won’t sit with you and watch you settle for mediocre when I know WE can be great, I’m willing to build with you if you’re willing to build with me. I’m not quiet and I won’t go willingly, he knows he has a leader standing beside him. Some men can handle a strong woman and some men can’t. At the end of the day if you’re married, been married or thinking about getting married, you should know marriage is not just a show you put on for Facebook and Instagram. Marriage is not just something to add to your introduction when you’re introducing yourself at your new job. Two people have come together and decided to build a small nation, remember that.

Have a great week everyone, peace, love and light.

Xoxox Lauren

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2 Comments

  • Reply Sharmon Scurlock September 7, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    You are absoulety spot on!!

    • Reply laurenolauren September 15, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      Thanks love, trust me it’s something I thought long and hard about.

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