I was having this conversation with one of my best friends about two months ago, it’s funny that the situation has come up again. A beautiful black woman walks into a room and the first thing the room starts to do is dissect her beauty. “Her hair is fake she would look terrible without it.” Don’t forget the makeup argument that has been going on since youtube started showing tutorials. The history of female beauty has always been sort of like a facade if you want call it that. The era where women wore very tight corsets to achieve the hour glass figure, the big dresses the hair, being a woman has always been a tedious getting ready process. I’m sure by now we’ve all seen the meme about why should a woman be responsible if a man truly believes she has gold eyelids?
Oh but the black woman though. Who remembers slavery? How will we forget as much as the white man tries to cover it up, it’s remnants remain like the bitter after taste of black coffee to a non-coffee drinker. For so long our race was told our women are not beautiful and that we are a race of savages. Remember they completely left us out of the European standard of beauty and then demanded that we meet this European standard of beauty in order to be even considered as maybe beautiful. So what do we do we relax our hair and sit for too long with strong chemicals on our scalps that sometimes burn our scalps leaving behind permanent scars. All because we wanted straight hair like the white women they put on the cover of all the magazines and made the female lead in all the movies, you know like every Disney princess before 2013, like Barbie before it was cool for her to come in plus sizes and a race other than caucasian. We wanted to be beautiful too.
Now the question they like to ask us, is “Is that your hair” is it real? Can I take this opportunity to take away from your beauty and satisfy my own need to unconsciously tear the black woman down. A white woman once said confidently to a coworker of mine, why do black girls wear “White people hair”? Why has no one asked the white woman why she has undergone so many surgeries to achieve the black woman’s natural body? No one has questioned her lip fillers because unlike the black woman all those things enhance her beauty. But the black woman she hasn’t enhanced her beauty because according to society she has no beauty. No the black woman created beauty, morally that is wrong. One should never create beauty, one should enhance.
The black man who proudly and publicly criticizes the black woman, “she wears too much weave he says, she sleeps with a scarf and she’s angry all the time” But can we blame him, he is a victim of society he was never taught the right things and his mother praised him when he carried home a white woman to meet her. “My son did well” she’ll tell her friends smiling proudly that a white person would find her black son attractive and refer to her as mom. This isn’t about race this isn’t about interracial relationships. This is about White America’s obsession with painting the Black Woman as some angry savage in a weave.
Why does a Black woman’s hair matter so much and not a White woman’s lips?
Just some things going through my mind at 2am in the morning. Just wanted to get this out in a blog post. Maybe I’ll read this again in a couple months and it will make more sense and I’ll be able to answer my own questions.