Those who dig..........

Those who dig also hide, after a whole day of digging they’ll go back to their closet and hide more treasures. The world is sooo off balance that if you look at first nothing makes sense, but looking even closer it all adds up, Therapist always have more issues than their patients, most doctors have a drinking problems, and the fathers who are over protective of their daughters always date underage girls.

Once again im in the most sarcastic mood of my life, so before i’m taken over by a painful fit of laughter, I’ll hurry up and get to the point. A Lot of us doubt ourselves because we feel for some reason we aren’t worthy for whatever it is that we would really like to do or be with. You put this person up a golden platform and praise them as if they are perfectly created by God (or whoever you praise) but the fucked up thing is that person is not perfect nor are they any better than you are, they probably have more flaws than you do.

Let me tell you Elizabeth’s story, she married a well known politician who was ubber successful, poor Elizabeth all she had was a pretty face and the ring he gave her the day they got married. She did everything he told her to, she worshiped the ground she walked on because she thought he was being so good to her giving her everything, all he asked from her was she didn’t leave the house, cheat, flirt, lie or ever think she was worth anything without him. But while Elizabeth’s husband reminded her every day how good he was to her he forgot to tell her that everytime he went to a big business meeting over seas that he was with another woman, as a a=matter of fact he forgot to tell her that he was married to three other women that existed in other parts of the world, and when he was away for three months doing good will work with the president of Africa, he was really living his double life with another wife.

The moral of the story people is not, “DON’T TRUST YOUR MAN HE COULD HAVE THREE OTHER WOMEN THAT HE TELLS THE SAME THING” no the moral is don’t change who you are, don’t doubt yourself for another person, no one will ever love you the way you’re suppose to love yourself. Whatever you do with your life make sure it makes you happy, if you die tomorrow would you have lived a fulfilling life?

If you allow others to judge you and make you feel little, then you have failed yourself. If you want to be an alcoholic and get drunk every day, DWEET, if you want to give head and record it on ur cell phone DWEET, whatever you feel lik doing with your life  DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxoxox  Lauren Alexander, eyes wide open!!

How do I sound?

More and more the little things in life really starts to matter, maybe its cause we’re all getting old. The things that used to make you jump doesnt make you jump any more because you expect it to happen, you find yourself asking where is the fucking suspense??

If you are anything like me, you ask yourself more times than you should what the fuck am I doing wrong?? Nothing goes according to plan even when you planned for the fuck up. Contrary to what you may believe as I write this blog I  am not upset or annoyed in any way with anyone in particular. Sometimes I wake  up and just find myself thinking about stuff.

Will I end up like my mother, will my kids be alchoholics, will I ever see a pictures of Jesus Christ in shoes instead of gladiator sandals or barefoot? Just stuff, I don’t have a typical mind thank God my mother never restricted me nor my sisters from voicing our opinions about stuff growing up, so I don’t think like a typical person, because from the begining of time i always had freedom of speech. My mother doesn’t believe in “bad words” so now you get what i’m trying to say. Growing up I was urged to have a response to everything, I was never quiet or silent and to be honest people like that make my stomach hurt, why the fuck don’t you have anything to say?

I could talk all day if I wanted to. I could also be quiet, I have days when I dnt want to be around people,  I confine myself to my bedroom and put my phone on silent.

Then I go right back to thinking is this what I really want? If i said fuck off to this, could I find better. Who wants to come second in a race he knows he can come first in? The fucking problem is i’m not sure what my potentials are, I may run again and hurt my ankle therfore never winning nor coming anything, oh dear.

xoxoxoxox Lauren

Truth about Vegas

Alrighty so im walking around a book store in Miami airport for some reason im drawn to any book with Bitch in the title! I buy $60 worth of books and Magazinnes, before i hear the boarding announcement for my flight, Vegas Bound!

I get to my seat and there is a white man sitting there looking at me like im crazy, I asked him if this was his seat, he said to me quite matter of factly; no my seat is by the exit row, but you can sit there so we may sit together, he said this pointing to the two other white people sitting beside him, i figured they must all be related since everytime i looked at each one I thought about dogs specifically a Dalmation. What could I have done demand that he get up from my seat, prove to the world once again that Jamaicans are intollerable and out of control. I smiled and smuggled my little self through the narrow isle to a seat that wasnt mine.

Here I am sitting ready for the plane to take off when a spanish couple get into a big argument with a flight attendant, so everyone who could see was staring, then security came on the plane, then more security, the flight attendant was removed and then we waited, then more security came the couple was escorted off, then we waited, then a new flight attendant was replaced for theold one, finnally the piece of tin was in the air.  Now American Airlines took my hard earned us$10 and gave me in return the toughest pieces of bread ever with some meat substitute and year old lettuce in it, I broke a dam bracket from my braces trying to disect the sorry excuse for a sandwich. I said fine you know what according to this intinerary i should be in vegas in two hours! HA! what was I thinking Vegas is four hours behind the flght was six hours long, the dude beside me fell alseep on my shoulder, when he woke up he had the nerve to say; Hey! followed by his morning breath. I wanted to scream.

I wake up the next morning and my cell phone provider is doing what they do best annoy me, mother nature won a free ticket to Vegas so here we are, period, cramps, mood swings and lots of alcohol for cheap. On my way to breakfast this morning I got attacked by about ten spanish people trying to sell my time share and tickets to the Chris Angel show!

Holly wood did it again sold us an illusion, fuck Vegas I wanna go home!!

xoxox Lauren Alexander, I have four more days here, lets see what happens!!

ps i wish I was going to Club Privilege tonight!!!!!!!!

one man wont do, thank you.

New rule, “fuck what yah heard” (I love saying that) the rules about lady like behavior and all that shit has been re written and almost oxford approved.
Put your hand up if you’ve ever broken a car window, light his house on fire, searched his cell phone, jacked his email or anything that would deem you crazy. Put your other hand up if while u did these things he was the only man in your life! See that’s where women go wrong, do you see men braking windows or getting fat over “Jacqueline” no because they have another girl, I swear it works!
This is where the difference between dating and fucking play very important roles! Women can’t do the same thing thing as men and remain ladies, yeah yeah yeah we heard! However nothing is wrong with innocent dating, Mr Man pisses you off but “HE” always has nice things to say and would you believe he remembers that you hate grape soda. I promise this way works and you can date as many guys as your little heart desires but the rule is don’t have sex with them, unless of course your boyfriend is ignoring you and forgot that you have a vagina, then you can do as you please! Whatever floats your boat!
So if you are in a relationship, wise girls date and keep there options open. As Beyonce once said if he liked it “he woulda put a ring on it” so until he wifes it! Its yours and he can’t say shit! (Ps unless of course there is a range rover and a house on the hill involved with your name on the deed, then you best behave yourself. Before you get bax and loose it all)

“HE” should be doing all the things that Mr Man isn’t doing, stuff like ummmm I haven’t a clue what your Mr Man isn’t doing, but girls have sent me letters about movies and stupid walks on the beach, or dinner stuff, whatever floats your boat, “HE” will do it. Will Mr Man ever find out you ask yourself one day after you’ve received a gorgeous bouquet from “HE”, nope Mr Man isn’t that observant honey dear he hasn’t a clue, he’s too busy with another dumb bitch!!

Xoxox Lauren Alexander, no rings here!!

Have you "badmind" today??

If I had a dollar for every time somebody hated who probably has never seen me before, I’d be rich and if i had a penny for every time i hated somebody for no reason i’d probably be a fucking millionaire!! hahahahahah i honestly humor myself.

Anyways back to the point of this blog, i’m always going off stray, I wish we could all just stop hating on people that we don’t fucking know! You young lady stop hating your friend because her boyfriend is good looking and rich, ( as i say this I’m looking at myself in the mirror).

Stop carrying news to Elizabeth about the lying fact that you saw her boyfriend at a party with another girl! you’re a evil, jealous lying bitch and you know what’s worst the man you have is not even yours! You first need to have a man and establish yourself as more than your neighborhood hore, before you can look out for your friend, who by the looks of things is very happy. ( as i say this I have one particular bitch in mind and, she aint me).

Give people the benefit of the doubt, which I always do, but at the same be careful and watchful of there ways, which I never do!!

Persons who carry news to you please remember they can only be a water bottle if they carry water. Meaning they can only carry news to you because they were sitting down talking about you behind the persons back also!!! Don’t trust a news carrier, is all i’m saying.

xoxoxoxoxoxo Lauren Alexander, gossip is dangerous unless, its a profitable business.

whats not fair? tell me what is

Wow it seems I’ve been falling behind in my blog writing! So I thought hey that’s a thought going into the new year! I wanna talk about the business! Any kind of business, my grandfather once said “when in Rome, do like the Romans” however he also went on to say “Boundless are the ways of foolish men”, well he didn’t say that I did.
My point is many people get up and say oh I’m gonna do this different and I intend to make this happen when truth of the matter is, there’s nothing much else you can do with a pair of white jeans that’s gonna make you stand out any different from the millions wearing white jeans! I don’t care what you wanna spray on it or where you plan to cut it. Before I confuse myself, what I’m really saying is if you really really want to stand out stay away from white jeans over all and buy red. For the sake of this blog coming off like a conversation about jeans, I’ll go further into saying there are ways of this world that aren’t easily changed, maybe you aren’t the one to change it, nothing is wrong with falling in line with the other solders. Everyone has heard the story of the millions who tried to pull a sword from a rock and rule a kingdom, only one man succeeded. Life isn’t fair, but its in the unfairness of situations that one can see where the world is at a perfect balance.
Just listen for a second there is a method to my madness, I can’t remember right now who first spoke about this but I promise you it wasn’t me, “there has to be good, for bad to exist”, “there has to be rich for there to be poor” you see what I’m getting at.

Life may seem unfair on this side, but that’s just because it seems fair on the other side. We all have a destiny, some have the power or will to change there’s some of us don’t but we all have the power to let go and be happy.

Think about something that made you upset today, then think to your self would this have upset me a year ago, will it still upset me a year from now? Who defines you? Who the fuck told you that you are defined by those idle persons who just sit down and talk bad about people all day, because secretly they themselves are stuck and pissed off that they can’t pull the sword from the rock!

I tweeted this the other day, and now I’ll say it again. Not every fight was ment to be won, save your energy for the war!

Xoxox Lauren Alexander, I am originally me!

I bet you think this blog is about me??

I make it look easy, Doesn’t it make your head hurt to see me everywhere?? You can’t pin point why you hate me, but you really don’t like me. Every day you dedicate an hour to me at least just to talk to me, gaddammit I could kiss you’re dumb little ass but I don’t have the time.

There’s nothing else left for you to say, you caught your boyfriend downloading my pictures from facebook, now you’re mad at me because he’s obsessed. You didn’t shed the baby weight after spending all that money at the gym, suddenly im the skinny bitch who needs to eat something. Nothing bothers me, so now everything annoys you, I took him from you and i’ve never even met him!

I don’t give a fuck if you hate me, Stupid bitch you’re the same one that made me!!

xoxoxo Lauren Alexander, coming to a town near you!!!!

Taxed for being a woman

Wow, not only do women have to deal with monthly periods, cramps, mother hood and the possibility that the guy they got pregnant may walk out on them. Now we have to pay tax on tampons and pads!! wow Thank You Bruce i could kiss you!! Tampons are already over priced and now you wanna put tax on it? No one is speaking out about this because all the women in Parliament are old and going through menipause anyway!!!!

Also not to mention the new law that only rich people can tax their products!  if you aren’t making more than 3 million dollars a year you will be demanded to pay tax but you cant tax your goods!!

Believe it or not this taxing tampon shit is just gonna make it harder for those broke fellas out there looking for love, cuz now more than anything women are angry, hormonal and we need more “pension” so now you will be calling us gold diggers!!!

xoxox Lauren Alexander, how can i stop my period, forever??